Active Listening and Nonverbal Communication

As I read through the many posts from my 102 students, many students mentioned they really needed to practice nonverbal communication and active listening.  This is especially true in relation to their conduct at their service learning agency.

My question to them is "what does it LOOK like?"  Now, that can be considered and odd question - what does listening LOOK like?  Well, this is my perspective - when we actively listen to others, we are not just hearing the message, we are actually "in the moment".  We are present and while listening, we are processing the message.  While we actively listen to others, we are cognitively engaged.  We are not just "going through the motions".  So, what does it LOOK like?  Well, this is when I like to talk about nonverbal communication. When we are in the moment, actively listening to another person (or a group of people), what does our body language say?  Well, if you truly are actively listening, the first thing is eye contact.  Are you making appropriate contact with your eyes.  Are you looking at the person and connecting with eye contact or are you staring off into space?  Now, I do suggest that we stare the person down, that can be just creepy.  What I mean is that you look the person in the eye when you sense it to be appropriate.  Typically, you glance into the speaker's eyes, take a moment to glance away, then return the eye contact.  

What about body language?  We need to take into account our posture, position of hands, arms, - think about how you feel when you are talking and the listener stands with his/her arms crossed.  What does that convey - disapproval?  Disagreement?  

One of the most important things about nonverbal communication is your body language needs to match up with your words.  Over 90% of our messages are sent nonverbally.  

As this semester moves forward, it is challenging for me to teach this concept via distance. Because I can't see the students.  However, I find the students who take this class really take the subject matter seriously and they practice the guidelines from the text and the suggestions from their instructor (that would be me...ha ha).

So, I ask - what are your thoughts on active listening and nonverbal communication? 

Becoming a Better Student

This semester I am teaching ALEC 102, Interpersonal Skills for Leadership...online.  Many people find this to be a contradiction "interpersonal skills...online?" Well, think about it - how much of our life is spent communicating with other via email, chat, internet, facebook, text...why not learn about interpersonal skills via distance?

Anyway, each week I develop one or two discussion questions (DQ) for the class.  Week One's DQ asked students to list their class expectations and review the table of contents to address topics they would like to focus on.  One of the students noted how when we learn about interpersonal skills, we learn how to become a better student.  In my opinion - everyone can be a good student, it is just a matter of determining your learning style and an area where you have passion.  For example, I changed my undergraduate major three times before choosing to go into education. 

So, how do we become a better student?  What is this all about?  Are we "good" student because of the study habits garnered during our elementary/middle/high school years?  Do we find a niche in college and become a better student?  I can say, once I chose to go into education, I made the Dean's List three years in a row...

What part of interpersonal skills play a role in becoming a better student?  Time management?  Managing stress?  Managing conflict?  All of the above?  These are topics I plan to blog about during this semester.  I would like feedback, comments, questions - let's start a dialog.

Next time, I am going to address active listening and nonverbal communication.  How do these topics play into successful interpersonal relationships?